another late night, another cold bed
another fucking dream of him
making me cry, telling me why
i am just not good enough again.
now I’ve been asking myself why
i can’t bury him in memory
why his ghost won’t leave my door
and I’ve been thinking maybe, baby,
it’s because there’s still too much
of…
I miss the curve of your smile
when it was for me
I miss watching you write
and sing melodies
I miss you saying my name
without a trace of hate
I miss bumping into you
and believing in fate
I miss the taste of your lips
before I knew what I know
I miss only feeling cold to each other
out in the…
i have a heart
i feel it beating in my chest
the rhythm’s off -
they call it a “murmur”
i call it brokeni have a heart
i feel it beating in my chest
calling out
your name
and i can’t stop iti have a heart
i feel it beating in my chest
the way i used to feel yours
lying in the dark
next to me
PEOPLE I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IN 2012 ★ Robert Downey Jr.
- “The Avengers”
(via mercenarysexuality)
—Я вас любил…/I loved you once… -Алекса́ндр Серге́евич Пу́шки (Alexander Sergeyevich Pushkin)
(Source: mercenarysexuality)
My toes are cold so I retract them Someone told me But oh, I do. I don’t hate you. Won’t you help me, now?
curl up under this fuzzy blanket
and think about
how it’s October now
how it’s almost been a year
how very much I miss those autumn days
before the fall.
you regret the things you never say
more than you could ever regret the things you do
so I hemorrhaged the truth
until my veins were bone-dry
and I regret that
and regret regretting
since other, wiser peoples’ words
tell me I should not.
Close my eyes and remember.
Fine, I’m getting tired of you anyway.
You were joking, you said.
You were joking, I didn’t believe.
Shake it off.
There we go.
You smiled as I finally relaxed
rested my head on your shoulder
so happy you won
the way you always did.
Back then, it still mattered.
The best I’ve got these days.
I’d like to act
like the night that you got drunk and messaged me first
wasn’t one of the best I’ve had in months
but these walls I’ve built to keep you out
just block the sky and weigh me down
press my hand against those cold bricks
and wish I could climb out.
Before the snow falls down
and my heart freezes for good
forever encased beneath the ice.
Once more Yes, I’ll admit You’re a monster, baby Do you think that you’re so clever? I’m a monster, baby Oh yes, We’re monsters, baby
I lie on the floor as you dress
my hair’s all a mess and you’ve left
your scent on my sheets
once again
to remind me at night
of where you once were
and how you haunt all my dreams
You’re a monster, baby
cold eyes and cold heart
when you tear me apart
I feel your claws
crawling beneath my skin
I lose far before you begin
to carve my heart from my chest
you’re the best at what you do
You make me certain I’m alive
when you take your sweet time
I’m not surprised
at the way death shines in your eyes
Do you even taste the blood
that coats your lips
as your fingers slip over my skin?
Have you figured out why I let you in
again and again
Has it crossed your mind at all
why I fall for the lies
and those pretty puppy dog eyes
Have you really never considered
that I simply love the thrill
of my kiss
turning you into this?
eating your soul
and controlling your sins
Drawing blood from your hips
sucking with lips
that pass your name like venom
we make such a pretty pair
that Despair sits to watch
Oh yes,
Misery’s in good company
sitting between you and me
and you know we won’t stop
until we’ve destroyed one another
angels who have not fallen
but dragged each other purposefully downward
into the dark
beneath our children’s beds.
I like to live my life
acting like you don’t exist
for when I remember you exist
I remember how you kissed
and then I
f
a
l
l
a
p
a
r
t.
Oh, But those days, The summer sun went down on us, So now I’m You gave me so many dreams What have you done?
there’s nothing more I want
than those summer nights
when the sky was clear
and we were okay
We could talk-
I miss the way you laugh at me
with those pretty eyes
when I trip over the words
I try to pick so carefully for you.
they’ve gone far away.
Run and hid from the shadows you and I
began to cast as we grew old
Wicked, twisting shapes
we used to fear as kids.
and in the winter we threw snowballs
filled with rocks
they tore apart our bones.
Now, so long after you went
the cold may be gone
but I’ve still got the stones
and they drag me down
drown me in regret.
looking back in the dark
and it’s reading like a Grimm Fairy Tale
wish someone would come along
and adapt it for our kids.
and now at night
I have only nightmares.
It’s a beautiful day I keep my head down now
but I can’t see it
when you stand there in my doorway
and smile like it’s nothing
like how I was nothing
to you.
or I try to
but I hope I still see you
while looking down.
